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Sunday, 08 November 2009
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Tasmania, Day two (part one)
November 1st, 2009.
Spend the morning at Port Arthur.
Lunch at a fabulous seafood restaurant in Taranna.
Driving from Port Arthur to Swansea.
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After breakfast at the 'Storm Bay Guest House' we drove back to Port Arthur Historic site to have more of a look around in the daylight:
Looking at this photo -- these beautiful ruins in this lovely green lush place -- it's just so hard to imagine that Port Arthur was the place of such horror in the 1800's.
One of the cool things they do at Port Arthur is that when you arrive, they give you a playing card and using your playing card you can trace the life of 'your' prisoner.
My prisoner had been sent to Port Arthur for stealing two £5 notes.
This is the church that is the background of the Ghost tour photo.
The the ruins of the Separate Prison are on this hill behind the willow tree to the right. The energy in there was so bad during the Ghost tour, that I didn't want to go back, even in the daylight.
After another hour or so looking around, we headed over to the jetty, to go on the harbour cruise.
This little island is Isle of the Dead, where the bodies of over 1,000 convicts were buried.
Just out of the shot on the right is a jetty, and if you had purchased a special pass you could get off the boat and do a tour of the island.
The building at the front is part of the Guard Tower, we didn't tour any of that part of the site, so we missed out on the Guard Tower, the Officers Quarters and the Commandants House.
Oh well, we'll just have to go back.We had a booking for lunch, so we had to go.
We drove to Tranna, stopping for a quick look at the Tasmanian Devil park on the way.
I'd done a lot of research on food in Tasmania, and this one seafood restaurant stood out, so I insisted we go there.
I'm in two minds as to if I should name the place, but I must say, I was very disappointed.
Our first course of Oysters came out and tasted great, although, the presentation could have been better (I think).
(Salt and szechwan peppered Oysters, and Oysters Kilpatrick)Our main dishes came out, and the only way I can explain it is this.
You know on Master Chef, when the cooks are given a recipe of something amazing by award winning chefs, and they have to go away and cook/present it?
And at the end, it kinda looks OK, but if you compare it to the chef's dish, it looks (and tastes) a bit dodgy.... well that's what the food was like.
I had duck with five spice pancakes, and while it all tasted fine, it honestly looked like it had been cooked and plated up by someone who'd never cooked before.
Considering the cost of the place, it wasn't as good as it should have been, our dinner the night before at Felon's Bistro tasted (and looked) better, and cost approx half as much.
Part two, to follow.
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Friday, 06 November 2009
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Tasmania, Day one.
October 31st, 2009.
Basic plan, fly into Hobart, drive to Port Arthur.
Dinner at the Historic Site, followed by ghost tour.
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We arrived at 'Storm Bay Guest House' at 2pm, only a 15min drive from the Port Arthur Historic Site. It's a beautiful Bed and Breakfast with amazing views from the deck:
After a few hours relaxing, we headed to the Port Arthur Historic Site early so that we'd have time to have a look at the ruins in the daylight before the ghost tour.
note:
For those of you who don't know the history of Port Arthur, (here is a link to the wiki page) the basic overview is that in the 1830's Port Arthur served as Penal Colony.
In addition to being an place of amazing historic significance, in 1996 a gunman went on a shooting spree at the Port Arthur Historic site, killing 35 people and injuring approx 20 more.
/note.
I didn't realise it at the time I booked our tickets, but it was Halloween and we were booked in to do the Ghost Tour!
We arrived at about 5pm, and mists had just started to come down around the buildings. This is the first sight you get of the ruins, it's the shell of the main Penitentiary:
The orange/yellow house behind the ruins is (I think) the Commadant's Office.
The ruins higher on the hill in this shot, are the remains of the hospital, and the house to the right of the shot, behind the tree is the Policeman's Residence.
(here is a link to a Port Arthur Site Map).
Ross looking smug inside the ruins of the Penitentiary.
Ross and I.
Mist rolling into the bay.At about 6.30pm, Ross and I went to 'Felons Bistro' a restaurant located in the visitor's center (dinner was included in the Ghost Tour tickets).
After dinner, we lined up for the Ghost Tour.
The thing about the Ghost Tour is that there are no theatrics to make it spookier. The only things that make it spooky are the location, and the fact that it's dark.
I only took a few photos during the tour, and none of them turned out very well, but here is one of the few that shows the true spookiness of the evening. That's our tour guide Todd Darling at the far right of the shot, with the church ruins in the background. After the tour finished, we headed back to the Visitor's Centre to pick up our 'Certificate of Bravery' and headed out to the carpark to head back to the B&B.
I overheard a lady who'd been on our tour telling her friend that she'd been able to feel the ghosts touching her hair .... *shiver*.
I didn't see any ghosts myself, but I did feel uncomfortable in two of the buildings, one was the 'Separate Prison' and the other was the 'Autopsy Room' under the surgeon's house.
The Separate Prison in particular had very bad energy..
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Follow-up with the OB.
We had our follow-up appointment with the OB on Friday and then went away for a long weekend to Tasmania. We decided that we'd not make any decisions until after speaking to the OB, but I pretty much knew if he had no new suggestions that I didn't want to try again, it's too hard to keep losing babies.
The OB suggested weight loss and Baby Aspirin.
MORE weight loss.
So the plan is I'm going to keep going to the gym and see how much more weight I can get off between now and Jan/Feb (so 2 - 3 months).
He said I need to be on the Baby Aspirin when we conceive, so suggested that I start taking it when we decide to start trying again. He didn't think I needed to be referred to an RE, but said that he would refer me if I wanted to be. I said I'm happy to try the Weight loss/Baby Aspirin path, and see how we go, but more and more I'm feeling like I don't want to keep trying. If things don't go well in Jan/Feb, I think that's it for me.
I've got loads of Tasmania photos, I'll post them tomorrow.
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Monday, 26 October 2009
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The aftermath...
Whoa.
So Momaroo featured my post 'Diary of a Miscarriage', and somehow it made the front/feature page of xanga.
I really wasn't ready for such a huge reaction.
The Momaroo post has had over 8,500 views and nearly 100 comments, most of those comments are kind and caring.
In terms of how I'm feeling emotionally, I'm feeling.... sad.
I have patches of weepiness/depression, and I wonder if it's just my hormones sorting themselves out.
I have days when I don't want to try again, an others that I do.
As with most grief, some days are better than others.
Things are really busy at work, and it's good to be able to keep my mind of things.
Ross and I have our 'mini' honeymoon coming up this weekend, a long weekend in Tasmania, I can't wait!
Before that (on Friday) we have our 'follow-up' OB appointment, I doubt that will give us any answers, but it might help us make some decisions on what we do in the future.
I've not been going to the gym, I was told to avoid anything more strenuous than walking for a month, so after our long weekend in Tasmania, its back to the gym for me.
I lost 9.1kgs before we got pregnant last time, and while I'm too scared to weigh myself, I'd guess at least half of that has crept back.
What can I do, Lindt balls really do make me feel better.
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Friday, 16 October 2009
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Diary of a Miscarriage
No one ever talks about Miscarriage.
Yet anytime I talk about having a miscarriage, there are always other people who've had a similar experience.
So, today I'm talking about my most recent miscarriage, to raise awareness for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day (October 15th).
We've been Trying to Conceive (TTC) for a little over a year now. We don't seem to have much trouble with the 'conceiving' part of that statement, but in the time we've been TTC, I've had two miscarriages.
I've been charting my Basal Body Temperature (BBT), which tracks fertile days and ovulation.
23 August, 2009 -- 3wks 6 days (13 days post ovulation)
My period was due yesterday, but my BBT didn't drop today (a sign that my period will arrive) so I took a home pregnancy test and it came back with a faint line. Pregnant. Hurrah!
I'm cautiously optimistic. Ross -- as with my previous pregnancies -- won't believe the home tests and tells me to go for a blood test.
I continued to chart my BBT until the blood tests came back, my chart was perfect, the best pregnancy chart I've every had.
28 August, 2009 -- 4wks 4 days (18 days post ovulation)
My beta test (to confirm the pregnancy) results are back (the numbers are expected to double every 48hrs)
Tuesday's beta (14dpo): 34
Thursday's beta (16dpo): 107
My numbers are perfectly average (a touch on the low side) but with good doubling times, due to my previously losses my Doctor also refers me to the OB who'd done our recurrent loss panel.
My perfect chart and beta's really boost my confidence, this pregnancy 'feels' different to me, and I'm getting perfect textbook symptoms.Ross and I talk about it, and because of our previous experiences with early ultrasounds, we decide to make our first OB appointment closer to 8wks, this way, if there is no heartbeat on the scan we know that there is something wrong, on previous scans we've gone in earlier when not seeing a heartbeat can be ambiguous.
03 September, 2009 -- 5wks 5days.
Argh! I swear my boobs got bigger overnight!
Another good sign. I'm thrilled, although bigger boobs are the last thing I need.
Sometime the following week.
Ross comments that he thinks my boobs aren't as full as they had been. I feel like all the air has been sucked out of me. I start to overanalyze all my symptoms. Am I still feeling nauseous? Are my boobs still sore? Am I as tired today as I was yesterday?17 September, 2009 -- 7wks 5 days. (Thursday)
Our first appointment with our OB. The scan doesn't go well, instead it was spookily similar to our first pregnancy, the baby measured 6wks 1day, which was 10days behind the 7wks 5days that my chart confirmed.We see a yolk sac, the start of a fetal pole, but no heartbeat. As soon as we see the scan Ross and I know something is wrong.
Our OB said that sometimes BBT charts can be wrong, and not to worry too much, maybe it's just too early. He wants me to come back in two weeks for another scan.I had been closely charting, and I knew my dates couldn't have be 10days out, if my dates were 10 days out, my HPT would have been positive at just 4days post ovulation, that's just not possible.
It's raining and we drive to get takeout for lunch, we sit in the car-park and eat in the car. I'm crying and it's hard to swallow the food. I have to go back to work and pretend nothing is wrong.
Ross sends me an email from work. Someone at his work announced their pregnancy, he say's it's the hardest congratulations he's ever had to give. I go into the toilets and cry.
18 September, 2009 -- 7wks 6 days. (Friday)
I wake up to some bleeding. Because my blood group is O negative I have to go an have a shot of Anti-D, I spoke with my OB on the phone, and he said to continue with our planned scan the next week.
It's Friday, so I take the day off work and spend the afternoon in the ER to get a shot of Anti-D (my local doctor's surgery doesn't stock Anti-D, I have to go to the ER to get it).Ross has also taken the day off work, he's come down with a nasty virus.
I spent that weekend with my feet up, trying to be positive, but not truly feeling it. I knew the chances of a good outcome weren't high. Over the course of the weekend, I catch Ross' virus. Because of the tiny chance that everything works out with the baby, I can't take anything for the virus, not even throat lozenges. I'm miserable.
21 September, 2009 -- 8wks 1 day. (Monday)
Both Ross and I take the start off the week off work feeling horrible. We get a medical certificate which gives us until Thursday off work.
Today is TK's birthday, so we keep him home too and spend the day playing 'Wii Sports Resort'. We order pizza for lunch.
24 September, 2009 -- 8wks 4 days. (Thursday)
I intend to go back to work this morning, but I wake up with my eyes gummed up shut with conjunctivitis. Seriously, like I need this now.I call in to my boss and explain about the conjunctivitis. I tell him that I'll be in on Monday.
I go to the bathroom and discover I'm passing large blood clots. Ross and I go to the ER.
They book me in for a scan and confirm that I've had an Incomplete Miscarriage. An incomplete miscarriage is where there are 'retained products'. I'm given another Anti-D shot and they send home on bed rest in the hopes that I'll pass the remaining products naturally.
28 September, 2009. (Monday)
I speak with my OB on the phone, he's meant to be on leave, so I'm surprised that he called.
He's not happy that the hospital sent me home, and tells me that I may still need a D&C. He sends me for another scan and gives me a script for some of the biggest antibiotics that I've ever seen. The scan shows that I have passed most of the retained product. My OB is happy with this progress and decides that I won't need a D&C.
29 September, 2009. (Tuesday)
I go back to work.
Only my best friend at work and my direct boss know about the miscarriage. Everyone else thinks the virus has kept me off work for a week. Everyone gives me a hard time about 'being a wuss' since I needed so much time off work because of a virus. I laugh and smile and play along, I argue that I had conjunctivitis too -- and that's highly contagious -- I wouldn't want to spread my gummy eyes around. It's all in fun, but part of me wants to tell the truth. I know if I do tell everyone that most people will feel uncomfortable and not know what to say. So I keep the truth to myself.
Today.
We have a followup appointment with the OB in a couple of weeks, he's talked to us about a trial treatment of 'Baby Aspirin'. It's not proven, but it's had good results for other people who've had recurrent loss, it's also sometimes used in conjunction with IVF. We haven't really decided where we'll go to from here. I guess we'll make a decision after we next see the OB.
I normally wouldn't normally talk about my miscarriages on the public side of my xanga site, I've talked about them previously on my private site though, but I've made this post public to raise awareness for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.
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LifetimeAbout Me
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I'm a quirky kiwi chick who likes to paint in my pyjamas. I left New Zealand in Jan 2002, coming to Australia - to live with the guy I met right here on xanga in jan 2001. I'm a wanna be artist girl, almost all the paintings and jewellery I post here on xanga are for sale, if you are interested in any of them, just email me -- deevaa@deevaa.com
